(Let There Be) No Blank Paper
Fifth bad Headache day in a row.  Missed work again.  Thought about forcing myself to go in and work through the pain, and then thought, “…why?” 
This drawing is old.  From April, I think.  When the Headache Monster was a year old.  Ugh.

Fifth bad Headache day in a row.  Missed work again.  Thought about forcing myself to go in and work through the pain, and then thought, “…why?” 

This drawing is old.  From April, I think.  When the Headache Monster was a year old.  Ugh.

"My head is very ill tonight."

Terrible headache day today, and the unfortunate thing is I probably did it to myself.  A favorite band of mine has a new album out and, silly me, I spent all day yesterday listening to it - albeit VERY QUIETLY.  The Headache Monster is being peevish about it, though.  Missed work over it today.

It’s only (ONLY?) been a year and a half… but it’s beginning to feel like a lifetime ago.

I just wish someone in the medical field would take the time to figure out what’s causing this so I can get back to the business of living an actually normal life!


(Well, okay, I mean… as normal as it ever was, anyway.)

Series of really bad Headache days over the past couple weeks.  This is an old drawing, but I decided to test my colored pencil skills with it today.
"I got no strings to hold me down…"
Sigh.  If only.

Series of really bad Headache days over the past couple weeks.  This is an old drawing, but I decided to test my colored pencil skills with it today.

"I got no strings to hold me down…"

Sigh.  If only.

twistupcrayons:

I’m certainly not opposed to finding myself a chiropractor, and I intend to do it on my own (and my parents) time at some point in the near future. The reason I haven’t done this yet is because with my insurance, most things need a referral, or else the insurance company can get kind of finicky about paying for it. My doctor however, being the lovely man he is, is absolutely convinced that it is just normal growing pains and that I am overreacting. He has been extremely unhelpful in terms of almost everything, simply telling me to lose weight (which I have been attempting to do, but it’s easier said than done) and stretch more (which I do as often as possible, but it’s hard to do when you can’t even leave your chair because you’re in so much pain). I certainly will be looking into a doctor of the chiropractic persuasion though, and I appreciate your concern. My main issue with the lack of meds is that he refuses to acknowledge that there may be something treatable, and yet still won’t treat my symtoms.
It’s also quite interesting that you mention the headache, because my father has been battling a recurring headache for a number of years now. He’s tried every medication under the sun and has had extensive testing done, but none of them have led to any relief from the headache. I will certainly make sure to mention this to him, because I think he may find it interesting at worst and helpful at best.
Again, thank you for taking the time to write a reply and let me know I’m not alone. Have a nice evening, and good luck with your quest to overcome that headache.
Sincerely, twistupcrayons

No worries.  After having a headache for so long, dealing with the difficulties of trying to convince people that my very invisible pain is still VERY REAL, and fighting with umpteen different doctors myself… I sort of reach out to anyone and everyone who seems to be going through similar woes. 

Doctors who won’t listen ARE THE WORST.  It took me a long time to realize that I have to be brave and “fire” the doctors who aren’t doing their jobs properly.  In the case of my headache, they all seemed to write me off the moment their clever diagnoses or multitude of prescriptions didn’t work.  It’s terrifying and frustrating to start from scratch with a new doctor all over again.  I’ve been through several and am still not entirely content with my current doctor.  Thankfully I didn’t have to go through her to see the chiropractor I’m seeing.  I hope your doctor will wise up soon and listen to what you say about the pain, just in case you’re not in the position to find a new doctor.

I’m sorry to hear that insurance is an issue for you.  Truthfully, it has been for me, as well.  Mine won’t cover the costs of a chiropractor visit, but the chiro I’ve been to is giving me a student discount (despite the fact that I’m not a student), and I have enough savings stowed away to keep the fees from hurting too much.  (And frankly, if it gets rid of this darn headache, that’s really all that matters to me at this point.  It’s controlled my life for FAR too long now as it is.) 

It might just take you “shopping around” a bit to find out who you can see for a reasonable price without insurance.  In my case, it only took two visits for the doctor to get x-rays and show me the results, so maybe you can just make one or two “consultation” appointments to find out if a chiropractor thinks he/she can help.  It would be a step in the right direction if they CAN, even if you can’t afford it for the time being.  And if they determine they can’t, well, at least you’d know.

I’m so sorry to hear about your dad’s headaches, and I can certainly relate to the frustration of cycling through an endless list of medications in vain.  If it helps your dad, here’s a bit more about my situation:  my chiropractor discovered that my upper spine, as mentioned by my very first doctor, was “too straight,” essentially at a 9 degree (nearly straight) angle as opposed to an ideal 43 degree (curved) angle!  This has pulled my hips out of alignment and caused the entirety of my spine to float to the left.  More importantly, it has put pressure on the nerves around the uppermost three discs of my spine.  All these nerves travel straight into the skull, precisely where my headache is.  The chiropractor believes this is why no medication has ever really worked for me, because no muscle strain or tension is causing this, and even meds meant to inhibit my nerves only “took the edge off” (they really didn’t, actually) because the pressure of my misalignment was still present causing the problem.  It’s possible your dad has something similar going on, but he definitely won’t know until he asks.

Anyway, I know this is a lot of information that may not be of much help given your insurance situation - but I do hope it helps both you and your dad somehow.  I’m not entirely sold on chiropractors yet, but I can’t deny that after just two short weeks, it has helped.  My “good headache days” feel a lot better than they ever did, and if nothing else, I have more energy than I did before going.  If it cures my headache, I’ll sure give you a shout in the ask box, and in the meantime, I’m zapping your doctor with my epic mind powers, so hopefully he’ll get a clue sooner or later. 

Smiles, and here’s to pain-free days in the future!

Erin

:)

"My head…"

"Come here."

"…is killing me!"

"I think you need a Doctor."


On my worst headache days (e.g. today), I just want the Doctor to show up and kiss the Time Vortex out of me.

SIGH.  Bingo?
At heart, though, I think many people who say these things (or variations thereof) mean well.  They are simply trying to assist with a problem they can neither see nor understand, so they relate it to the closest, most familiar circumstances they can imagine and respond accordingly.

SIGH.  Bingo?

At heart, though, I think many people who say these things (or variations thereof) mean well.  They are simply trying to assist with a problem they can neither see nor understand, so they relate it to the closest, most familiar circumstances they can imagine and respond accordingly.

I have a headache monster, too. Only mine's been roaring constantly for a year instead of a year-and-a-half.

I’m sorry to hear that.  :(  It’s not a feeling I would wish on anyone.  May I ask how yours started, and have you discovered anything that helps?

Concealing an illness is like keeping a beach ball under water.
Karen Duffy (via invisiblyill)
Quotes and qualms

invisiblyill:

“The secret of learning to be sick is this: Illness doesn’t make you less of what you were. You are still you.”

Tony Snow

This is, aside from the pain, the most difficult part to deal with.  I do feel like a lesser version of myself.  Closing in on two years now, and I still can’t stop myself from thinking back on who I was before the Headache and missing the heck out of being her.

invisiblyill:

prose-lines-poets-rhymes:

“But you don’t LOOK sick…”

Story of my life.

"Maybe you just aren’t looking hard enough.”
Probably the best artistic representation of chronic pain I’ve seen yet.

invisiblyill:

prose-lines-poets-rhymes:

“But you don’t LOOK sick…”

Story of my life.

"Maybe you just aren’t looking hard enough.”

Probably the best artistic representation of chronic pain I’ve seen yet.